The day my grandma passed away, almost six months ago, I read a Facebook status that said something like, “My boy is gone to heaven. And I only held him for a few minutes.” 

Friends of ours gave birth to their first-born son. Who took his last breath before they ever had a chance to enjoy him. 

My grandmother was in her 80’s. This child was one day old.

Pause.

Chatted with a neighbor for a few minutes the day before yesterday. 

“Just got a call about a friend’s son who died.” His words catch me off guard. We were just teasing his grandson about not touching the remote. Each time he tells the little guy ‘No!’ the fourteen-month old breaks out in the cutest scowl ever.  

“What happened?”

“Guy got back from Afghanistan after serving three years in the Marines. Lost a lot of his friends. Tattooed their names on himself. Then last night, just up n’ shot himself. Took his own life. His dad is devastated. His mom’s a wreck.”

Pause. 

***

Ran into a lady I worked out with every morning at 6:30 for months. We were both grocery shopping at Whole Foods last night. She recognized me first.

“Hey! How are you? Still working out at the same place?” She’s smiling. I’m about to cry.

“Yeah. Miss seeing you.” Before she explains, I say, “You know, I heard, through the grapevine. Actually, no, not like that. My daughter told me. She’s in class with your daughter. She told me that you lost your husband. I am. So. So. Sorry.”

Her smile disappears. She looks away. Then turns back. “My mother-in-law is watching the kids for me right now. I’m just picking up a few things and heading home. A lot has changed. But… we’re getting by.”

I am still stuck at ‘lost your husband.’ I know it hasn’t been that long. “How long ago did it happen? Was he sick?”

“Six months. Yes. But everything seemed under control. Then a complication. It was very sudden. Totally caught us off guard. But… we’re taking it one day at a time.”

“Sure. Sure. That makes sense.” The space between us is closing. So I take a chance and ask, “Can I just? Give you a hug?”

She giggles. “Of course.” 

And we embrace. Right there between the coffee tins and the latte bar. 

Pause.

***

Pause. 

Because living is not just about activity. Progress. Productivity. The world won’t stop spinning. For now. In the midst of all the chaos, take some time to pause. And reach out to a friend. Call someone your heart has been tugging you to get in touch with. Hug your loved ones a little tighter. 

Because life is short. 

And in a blink of an eye, everything can change. 

So how do you know when you’re ready to press play again? Each person is different. Each individual processes life’s heartaches at their own uniquely-wired rate. So I can’t tell you how and when, but I can tell you one thing that helps me. 

Knowing that I am not alone. This fact alone makes all the difference in the world to me. 

You’re not alone. Know it. Then go and tell someone else. By being there for them… during the pauses of life. 

That’s what living is about. 

***

Are you living in “pause” right now? Is there someone you need to talk to today?