If you’re Facebook-stalking me, click LIKE. 

This is the STATUS post I’m tempted to type every once in a while. But I’m a risk-taker. A little over the top when it comes to “not worried what others think” and I hit return often faster than my mind can say, “I’m okay with that” and then it’s too late. But that’s just me.

How many people give a lot of thought to their FB post? Before we go into the most frequently types of posts you read, let’s examine how a person decides what to post.

So about those of you who post, what do you find are the most critical things to tell the world behind the screen?

1. Updates on your career. How many hours you worked. How many words you wrote today. How many miles you ran. How many push-ups you [I] did. Numbers aren’t everything. Just reporting, after all. After all, a little cyber-boast never heard nobody.
2. Random things that happen to you. A mosquito bit the tip of your nose. This is worse than a nose bleed. People keep looking at you funny, like you’re picking. And you assure them, no. Not picking, just scratching. OR… A leaf lands on the palm of your hand. It must be a sign. You look up to get clarity and a branch pokes you in the eye. Ouch! Yeah. Lesson of the day: Don’t stand too close to trees.
3. Sports moments that make and break your day. The Bulls won! The Bulls lost. When will your [okay, my] garden have a Rose in it again??
4. Weather reports. And now someone around the corner from you knows to bring his umbrella. And the guy closer to the other ocean is smiling bigger cuz he’s having a margarita on the beach. 
5. National and World news. Because no one reads CNN. First. I mean, I get all my important information from Facebook. Come on, tell the truth. Did you know about the demise of Twinkies before you checked your FB Homepage? Heard they’re resurrecting btw. I think. I’ll check FB and let you know for sure. 😉
6. Witty nonsensical remarks. Jokes. Random information with an invitation to laugh. These are my favorite posts. Because everyone can use a laugh.
7. Links to YouTube videos. These I especially appreciate because if I chose to browse on YouTube, my kids would starve and I would become a permanent part of my chair.
8. Political opinions. Because some of you like a little controversy. And it’s safer to be opinionated across the cyber waves.
9. Yelp-ish info. Shout-outs to good restaurants, movies, and other culturally-relevant choices. Which I don’t mind if you exclude spoilers and life-threatening threats, for lack of a better word. Like, “I hated that new Disney movie ‘Rise of the Guardians,’ and I will totally unfriend you if you say you like it.” Seriously?
10. One or two words that create mystery. Like, “So aware.” or “Confused.” or “Feel like…” or my all time favorite: “Why?” because you want to say, but you don’t want to say. And in the end you just annoy Facebook users if you don’t finish the thought. What’s worse is if you’re fishing and no one bites. You say, “I hate this!” and no one asks “Hate what?” “Is everything okay?” “Can I help?” Silence on Facebook is like the invisible slap across the face when you stare at the 0 Likes clicked. Wahh! You do sort of have to have thick skin to post something and not worry if people are going to “Like” it per se, because some people just can’t be bothered, and some are just lazy, and some are just freaked out to publicly declare anything, even a LIKE, God forbid. Don’t want to be too out there-types make up most FB users, I’m sure. Then there’s the person like me who doesn’t care. I just post and post and post… eventually someone out there will click LIKE and make my day! 🙂 

So how does one decide how often to post? I think you fall into one of five categories, because I’m a super accurate analytics expert who bases this information on a lot of years of personal observation. Hey, that’s most of the stuff on the internet if you really think about it, and I say, if it’s on the Internet, it must be true! 😉 

Some of you: 

1. Post every single thought that crosses your mind. Because inquiring minds want to know what you had for breakfast, what color socks you’re wearing, and the fact that your dog is on the honor roll. In his Pet-training school down the street from your barber who is offering a two for one special. Today. But only for the next five minutes, so run like the wind, yo!
2. Post every other thought that crosses your mind because you worry that the last one doesn’t have enough “Likes” to warrant moving on.
3. Post only personal messages on friends’ pages and then freak out when people jump in on an A&B conversation, and you can’t possibly write, “C” yourself off this post stream. 
4. Post once a week, just to keep in touch with the world and keep a social media presence. Plus your boss said it’s important to let your clients/readers/fans know you’re still breathing. Because they like to feel connected to you. Even if you don’t know them. At all.
5. Post never. Because you’re just an observer by nature. You like to hang out behind the scenes. Silently chuckle. You hover over the “like” button and once in a long while you allow yourself a slip. And if you’re really fast, you click back to “unlike” and pray that the cyber world blinked too and no one noticed. Because you like, but you don’t want anyone to know you like. You just want to stay a mystery. But it’s so fun to spy on those who don’t mind being out there. 

Finally, let’s touch on the essential purpose of Facebook in your life. What does it do for you?

1. Entertain. Build a farm. Play scrabble. 
2. Help you to de-stress.
3. Make you feel a part of a club. Group. Community.
4. Procrastinate on pretty much everything.
5. Stalk people for a friends-with-visual-benefits-only type of relationship. 
6. Inspire others with quotes, scripture, or cool song lyrics.
7. Be someone you’re not. Or someone you really are deep down, but are afraid to be in public. 
8. Entertain friends without having to clean your house, prepare a meal, or make any dishes dirty. [*I have to be honest, this benefit especially appeals to me!]
9. Look witty and pretty without getting out of your sweats.
10. Share news. Good. Bad. Happy. And sad. And receive virtual comfort. Cyber hugs. Words that tell you that you’re not alone. 

**

I know I’ve missed plenty of other highly useful purposes for Facebook or popular opinions on the Social Networking Phenomenon that Mark Zuckerberg started in his college dorm room as a little experiment that went viral one night at Harvard. Who’d have thought such an idea could mushroom into the world wide yarn that ties us all together. Six degrees of separation no longer applies. Try five. Or maybe four once Facebook reaches the North Pole and Santa. 🙂

**What about you? Are a Facebook Junkie, running off to update your status as we speak? Are you Facebook-phobic? Afraid a thief will break into your house when they find out your vacationing in Aruba this week from your Status post? Or have you found that perfect place for FB in your life? Balanced and able to check in and check out and leave it behind and live life. Face to face with real live faces?

What’s the most interesting or craziest Status Post you ever read or wrote!?!

Hold up. Gimme a minute while I post this Blog on my FB Page, because, someone, somewhere out there, has a few minutes to spare to read this post and then will feel the compulsion to leave a comment or click LIKE! Do it! You know you want to!  🙂