In Search of Waterfalls – Years 8 to 13

Picking up from where we left off, Year Eight came along, and we ventured over to north Atlanta so we could leave the girls with my sister and her hubby for a few days. Then we drove north two hours till we hit the Blue Ridge Mountains to a cabin in the woods. On this trip, we decided to give white water rafting a whirl for the first time. Except that by the time we descended onto the Ocoee River in North Carolina, we were each paddling our own kayaks. Not the group ride I had anticipated but an amazing adventure I will never forget. At one point we got separated and to this day, I am so relieved I thought out loud and asked the guide if there was any way I could get lost. And he replied, “Nope. The river only goes in one direction, so even when it splits, it will reunite again.”

And just like that, minutes after floating down the river and working out the nuances of turning and balance over small rapids, we got split up. Yup! Hubs floated off toward the right, and my kayak took me to the left. And hero that he is, hubs tried to back paddle and get to me, but the power of the rapids was too much. Even for my strong man. And as I paddled along the river alone for several minutes, I just prayed that the guide knew what he was talking about and I would see my prince again. And we did. This is the same trip when hubby’s kayak flipped and thank God he was able to recover before the final class three rapid that he actually went down backwards. Not by choice.

We also spent a day hiking to see Long Creek Falls and on another afternoon, we went horseback riding for the first time up a mountain. I can honestly say that it’s not for me. As much as horses are beautiful and strong creatures, I just cannot get the hang of sitting on them without the fear of bouncing off. We actually got locked out of our cabin the first night and ended up in a hotel (no joke), had a flat tire on the way to kayaking, almost missing our launch time, and our hot tub on the balcony of our cabin was out of order. What can you do?

In May of Year Nine of our marriage, I happened to be eight months pregnant with our fourth daughter, and I really just needed sleep. The pregnancy had taken a toll on my body, my right hip hurting every night, and I was simply exhausted. So we kept year nine simple: hubby booked a room at the Marriott in Huntington, because it had a nice swimming pool and a hot tub, where I let the jets do their work on my hip for ten minute intervals. We watched Namesake in our room and ordered room service for dinner…We had never done that before! And the icing, I came home to a surprise baby shower by the lovely ladies in my life. Oh how I treasure them!!

So when the decade of our marriage was still a few months away, hubby begins prepping me for his Big Plan. “We’re going back! To Alaska!”

“Okay, but didn’t we already see Alaska?” This is coming from a girl who spent the first 16 years of her life in Canada mind you. But that doesn’t technically help justify my geographical ignorance, because I was living closer to Alaska that whole time. Hmmmm? Anyway…

Hubby laughed. “The cruise [we took on our honeymoon] only covered a few cities along the west coast of Alaska. We haven’t even scratched the surface. This time we’re going interior, to Denali State Park and a few other cool places.”

“Okay.”

And then the kicker: “And we’re going to drive around Alaska in an R.V.!”

“A what?” I was not happy. “That does not sound romantic at all!”

And then the pick up lines that got me—hook, line and sinker. “Baby, it’s gonna be so romantic. Just think about it. If we stay in a hotel, we’ll have neighbors on both sides of us. If we stay in an R.V., it’s just you, me and the stars!”

I burst out laughing. But he got me with that line. And he said it. Word for word. Just like that. And in the end, it was amazing to say the least. The entire time, my eyes were not big enough to take in the beauty of the snow-covered mountains, the blue waters of glaciers or the untouched land that spread for miles. And the wildlife was a treat to see. Moose. Caribou. Grizzlies. Just living. So much better than any zoo.

So you won’t be surprised to learn that by Year Eleven, we owned an R.V. And two kayaks. So for this anniversary, we ventured over to Allegheny State Park in upstate New York and spent a few days kayaking on the lakes, biking over trails, and watching movies on the biggest screen with digital surround sound we’d ever seen. That’s right. We’d camp and do the outdoorsy thing all day, and two evenings in a row, we drove over to the theater to watch Star Trek and X-Men and then return to our campsite to look at the stars. This is the trip when the rear wheel of the RV got stuck in mud on our first morning, and thank God for some friendly campers with a shovel and a very strong jack lift thingy. The guys were glad to help. They’d been in similar fixes themselves. And the 12 pack of Corona was thanks enough. That’s what they asked for when we asked how we could thank them. So beer it was.

Year Twelve was an unusual year since hubby needed to attend a Faculty Development class in Long Beach, California and the schedule fell on the girls’ school break. So we tagged a few extra days onto the trip and the two of us took a boat ride over to Catalina Island, a place where everybody drives a golf cart and there are still some buffalo roaming on the mountains. We almost got charged by one.

I almost ran over hubby’s foot the first time I drove!

I loved this trip for many reasons. You see, I never went to my prom. So on this trip, hubby took me to a Valentine’s Sweetheart Dance in the Casino Ballroom, a beautiful venue on the water with a dome-shaped ceiling. The funny thing is, the band that played that night sang only Beatles’ songs. And I like the Beatles. I just don’t know how to dance to their music. But we did get our slow dance in to the song “Yesterday,” and before we left, the M.C. offered couples a chance to renew their vows and we did. This is the trip that we revisited scuba after a ten year break. It was awesome. But. We both agreed. We’re good. We can wait another ten years before we go again. Something about being under water and seeing a shark. That’s enough anxiety to last us ten years to get over.

This is also the adventure where I thought I lost hubs, and those were the thirty longest minutes of my life. [I will have to blog about that on another occasion.] But the best part about this adventure was the fact that we both read books. For the first time! I got hubby hooked on Hunger Games, and because he was reading, I felt free to sit by the pool and read to my heart’s content. We even saw dolphins in the wake on the boat ride back. Good times.

Last year was the year of traveling from the forest to the castle, back to little ol’ Locust Valley. When the girls were on Spring Break, we spent four days at High Falls State Park, in GA in our second home, the R.V., leaving our campsite twice: once for the Tenth Avenue North/Third Day concert, and once for a Bulls’ Game [on screen at Chili’s.] Yeah. We like to think we’re outdoorsy. And we are. But we sure love Da Bulls! This is the trip when I almost lost my shoe. And my feet! On a tumultuous trip kayaking over a waterfall. Glad to be alive to write about it.

On the actual date of our anniversary, hubby shocked me by taking care of the babysitting, telling me to pack some “fancy” clothes and whisking me off to Oheka Castle in Huntington, New York for one night. Okay. I’ll say it. I am so spoiled!

And there you have it. Years one through thirteen. Each anniversary so different from the last. But two things have marked each one of our adventures together.

Mishaps and Prayer.

My sister gave me this idea a few years into our trips, something she had learned from Andy Stanley during one of his talks on marriage. He suggested that a couple go away for as many nights as they have kids, at least once a year. And then each day, they spend a little time focusing on one child at a time. Thinking about their son or daughter. The child’s strengths. Weaknesses. Gifts. Relationships. And their rapport with both parents. And any other concerns that arise when this particular child comes to mind. Then you thank God for and pray for this child and his or her particular needs. This doesn’t take more than an hour. And the rest of the day, you play and focus on your marriage. I love this tradition. So we go away for four nights. And each morning, we talk about a different princess. And lift them up in prayer. Back into God’s hands. After all, He’s the one who blessed us with each daughter. And He’s the one who teaches us how to parent.

So although I’ve only been married for fourteen years, I know there are no guarantees, and there is no foolproof plan, but I can say this. Below is a list that can’t hurt to think about when you invest in your marriage. Day in and day out:

Couples that…