I have to be honest. I am not the world’s best listener. In fact, I’m kind of a terrible listener. I’m often told that I have the gift of gab, but I’m not so sure I’d call it a “gift” unless you’re the quiet type who hates silence. I can fill just about any moment of silence, taking only brief breaks to inhale a breath to keep from passing out. Yes, I can shoot the breeze right out of you if you give me the chance. Sometimes when I’ve spent too many hours staring at a computer screen, the moment the doorbell rings, the phone buzzes or an unexpected visitor pops in, my mouth explodes with a force comparable to Mt. St. Helen. Continue reading
Author Archives: rkpaulus
Confessions of a Sorta, Kinda, Not Really Grinch…
A Man and His Ocean
[** Winner of Midlife Collage Writing Contest Monday, January 23,2012!]
He picks up his umbrella and his face winces as his hand struggles to turn the knob. The door always sticks after the rain. “Your umbrella is open.”“It’s fine.” I look closely as he ignores me and realize the snap strap is broken. He’s walking with an unravelled black umbrella, using it like a cane. Continue reading
To Turkey or Not to Turkey…
Asked a doctor friend of mine what his two cents of advice would be to all of us so we don’t come out of this holiday season looking like the bird we just baked.
He said, “I tell my patients to remember that these occasions are called ‘holidays,’ not ‘holi-weeks’ or ‘holi-months.’ Pass another cookie.” Continue reading
Ode to the Bird
Oh turkey, how I love thee
But only once a year
Can I endure the hours it takes
For you to bake and sear. Continue reading
Popcorn, Reese’s Pieces, Cherry Coke…ACTION!
In college, my freshman roommate prayed for me. A lot. I’m sure it had nothing to do with the poster I plastered on my side of the room before I unpacked my suitcase. The words “Every time I think about killing myself, I go to the movies” circled a large cardboard paper covered with hundreds of movie stubs. I saved them all.
And I love it all. From Beauty and the Beast to Bourne Identity, Rocky to Real Steel, Aladdin to Aragorn, Madea to Monsters Inc. [I could go on and on], I can’t get enough of the worlds created by a camera lens and now computer graphics. Needless to say, I love going to the movies. Continue reading
Confessions of A Leaf Thief
Photo Credit: Alvim Gimarino Www.flickr.com/vim25 |
Every year, for the past five autumns, I’ve held dearly to one of our two total family traditions. With only two traditions, thus far, to miss one would be criminal. This particular custom started shortly after my fourth daughter was born. Picture this:
Autumn and all its colorful glory paint a radiant frame around our yard. Sometimes we feel like we live in a miniature forest since maples, pines, and oaks border three sides of our property. Which not only creates beauty, but a heck of a lot of yard work. Every year. This particular year, I rake for hours, only to be bombarded my three sets of running legs that crash into my neatly gathered mountain.
Autumn and all its colorful glory paint a radiant frame around our yard. Sometimes we feel like we live in a miniature forest since maples, pines, and oaks border three sides of our property. Which not only creates beauty, but a heck of a lot of yard work. Every year. This particular year, I rake for hours, only to be bombarded my three sets of running legs that crash into my neatly gathered mountain.
“Leaf Pile!” squeal my girls, right before their little bodies lunged and then burrow into the fallen foliage. Repeat. Continue reading
I Know a Boy Who…
As a boy, he jumped off his roof with an umbrella after watching Mary Poppins. The bushes, not puffy clouds, greeted his earth-bound bottom. Continue reading
If you build it, they will come
STOP! & THEN GO! IT’S TIME TO PLAY! THANKS FOR THE TRAFFIC LIGHT JACK! WON’T ASK WHERE YOU GOT IT FROM… Continue reading |
What’s on Your Bucket List?
Two years ago, I crossed an item off my bucket list when I completed my first triathlon. Something I always wanted to do, I trained for several months, ending the last weeks leading up to race day by biking the ten mile route, jogging the three mile course and swimming laps in the bay. This worked as an effective mental training since I eliminated most unknowns of the course, although the murky water of Oyster Bay still held possible mermaids and loch ness monsters. You can’t see a thing when you’re in there. Continue reading