Thanks for Nothing

Fiction Friday This Thanksgiving! Enjoy & Happy Thanksgivings ALL!!

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Sometimes the person you owe the most thanks to is the person who refused you what you asked for. Because deep down, you know what you asked for could have killed you. Metaphorically speaking. The moment that nearly wiped me out and left me broken-hearted happened a year ago this weekend. And that’s why I remember it so well.
As I begin my jog on this fall morning, I imagine the trees are whispering about the near tragedy as they push the blood-red leaves off to their demise. “Remember that night? There she is. The girl who almost said yes. But said no. Just in the nick of time.” Red branches talks about me like I can’t hear her.
Then the yellow painted tree chimes in. “Are you sure that’s her? Definitely looks like her. But there’s something different about her.”
Crimson Woody ponders the question before answering. “You’re right. Same girl. Different eyes. They used to see us. Now they see past us. Like she’s looking for something beyond her reach.”
Sunshine Branches sways her branches in agreement. “Like she’s not sure about yesterday. And even more unsure about tomorrow.”
“Seen that look a million times.” Red leans over to Yellow to lower her voice. “That’s what a woman looks like right before she jumps.”

Yellow gasps.

“Not like that kind of jump.” Yellow exhales a sigh of relief, so Red continues. “The jump into today. Because tomorrow is too far away and unclear. And yesterday too painful to revisit. So she’s fighting herself to grasp onto today with all she has. It’s the best kind of jump. But…”

Yellow: “Something told me there would be a but…”
Continue reading

31 Thanksgiving Shout-outs!

In the spirit of Thanksgiving… I am so very thankful for: [in no particular order]
1. Chocolate. Dark. Surrounding almonds. Blueberries. Strawberries dipped in it. Pretty much any which way. 
2. Spice. Black Pepper. Paprika. Chili powder. Covering a medium to well-done steak if you’re asking!
3. Banana, strawberry, blueberry, peanut butter, protein smoothies. Okay. Enough about food. 
4. Princess#1, Hannah ♡ for how she can sense when I’m sad. And her hugs squeeze something sweet right into me. 
5. #2 Nitha ♡ for her smiles that remind me not to take life too seriously.
 
6. #3 Lydia ♡ for learning how to make coffee. Just for me. To love me.
7. And #4 Sarah ♡ for her snuggles every morning that remind me what’s important at the start of my day.
8. Hubs. My Sunshine. My lover. My best friend. For not giving up on me.  Continue reading

A Thank You Said and a Thank You Heard…

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[REPOST FROM LAST YEAR WHEN I FIRST LAUNCHED InSearchofWaterfalls!]
“When did you first know you wanted to be a writer?” someone asked me a year ago.
“Junior year in high school. Miss Trosko’s class.” 
Miss Trosko was my English teacher, and she inspired me to dream the writer’s dream. She also gave me the courage to study English Literature in college. 
Well, I wanted to thank her for giving me that A/F grade on my first paper. The “A” was for content but the “F” for grammar. Like many things in my life, I peaked early. I won the class Spelling Bee in fourth grade, but it was down hill from there. I still kan’t spel so grate. Continue reading

Wreck it Raj

Sitting in the theater last night as I watched the credits roll, something gnawed at me. I liked the ending of Wreck-it Ralph, but I hated the last line. It’s the writer in me. I thought the actual final words were weak.The decision to spend the evening at the movies came after a week of persistent bugging from the kiddos. Didn’t hurt that Hannah had a Fandango gift card to offset the cost.
So when Hubs texted that he was almost home, I pressed send and the handy-dandy iPhone5 received the digital code for a paperless ticket to the land of make-belief.I love the concept of Wreck it Ralph. The idea that the characters inside video games are real and have feelings and actually live secret lives of drama and consequence once the lights go out in the arcade, although we know people mostly play video games at home now, using consoles and computers and they even get accessories from sites as HotRate online to be able to enjoy the games even more. I love how the movie spanned generations of games and technology and cameo’d my favorite hopping blast from the past… Q-Bert!!

From Andrew to Sandy

Hurricane Sandy destroyed our grill. But, this was the worst of the damage for us.

On route back from Chicago, Hubs gets a call. From a coworker who happens to be a psychologist. He’s giving a lecture tomorrow on Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) after natural disasters and major crises, and he wants to discuss this topics with the Family Medicine residents. Physicians and other men and women like police officers and firefighters can be perceived as invincible during a crisis. Rick Vickers helped hospital staff walk through the aftermath of 9/11 and the 1990 Avianca plane crash in Oyster Bay. He’s keenly aware that when doctors get flooded with patients hungry to share stories of their losses and heartaches, someone needs to turn the tables and say, “What’s up doc?” to help the physicians process their personal experiences as well. After all, they’re only human. In turn, the residents will hopefully be able to use the same line of questioning and counselling with their patients in the coming days and months post Sandy and all her side effects. 

“Would you want to share some reflections on what life was like during and after Hurricane Andrew?” Rick asks Hubs. 

“Of course.” Hubs remembers certain key details of the ’92 disaster like it was yesterday. Some is fuzzy. [A normal part of PTSD involves blurred memories.] He and his family lost nearly everything. It’s a miracle that they’re alive. Really. 

I think God saved him for me. 🙂  Continue reading

The Drop Off… Hurricane Sandy Send-offs

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Knock on the bedroom door at 2:37AM alerts me that it’s time. 

Time to begin an epic drive out of post-hurricane New York City and back home to our Beloved Windy City—Chicago.

The worst part, there’s still no power after Sandy whipped her way through Long Island. So we’re sharing head lamps to find last second items, and in the end I just settle for two socks. Who cares if they don’t match? We are on a schedule and if we don’t leave soon, someone’s going to miss more than a final glimpse of the skyline during a Wednesday morning sunrise. 

In all seriousness, [yes, I can be serious] before my parents arrived a few days back for their 45th Anniversary celebration, hubby actually told me that he had plans to wake everyone up on Monday morning and take them to the beach. To watch a sunrise. 

“Not happening.” I warned him. “My parents are retired. They cherish their sleep.”

Well, it’s Wednesday morning a little before 3AM. And…it’s happening! Continue reading

The Drop Off

 

Here’s hoping the lights won’t go out on our Tree House!!

Woke up yesterday with two yikes on my mind.

My parents are coming!

And…the yard is a leaf-covered mess!

Okay three…

I need to drop off the tree house Permit application.  

The third actually gives me more heart burn than the first two. Since hubs left for work already, I decide to vent to my brother-in-law who came in last night. Nothing like a heart to heart over a cup of early morning chai.

“Why is it so hard to be responsible?” This is how I start the conversation.

Arul nods his head and a smile spreads across his face. “I totally understand. There are things I just put off doing, but they’ll be right there nagging my mind. If you had any idea how many things go on in my mind at once…” Yeah, we have a bit in common.

“So what should I do? Should I just get a work out and rake the yard?”

Arul uses his arms and puts on his best big brother tone. “You just need to stop what you’re doing and F.Y.F.!”

“F.Y.F.? Explanation, please.” I’ve heard of F.Y.I.

“Face your fears.”   Continue reading

Pink Boxing Gloves … 3 Years Later.

*[Last year, I wrote a little story about my Sister and her fight with breast cancer. Today’s her birthday, and we have a lot to celebrate! But first, a little flash back to give you a glimpse of how special this woman is to me!]

*Three Years Ago

The news of my little sister’s breast cancer shadows our household and I am still shaken. My faith lies speckled with doubt.  I can’t help but ask “Why?” and ask more than once.  

God never promised that the rain would only fall on certain days. On certain folks. Or only so hard. When it rains, we all get wet. Couldn’t see the end of the rainfall in those early days.

One of the most painful moments happens while driving down to see my sister for my cousin’s wedding. This will be the first time I see Sandi after her diagnosis, and only a couple of days after her first round of chemo. I’m so anxious, I lose sleep that whole last week. 

One of the hardest parts about writing something down is that in order to remember the details, you have to go back there. I’m not gonna lie. It’s not easy to go back there. I’ll be right back.

*** Continue reading

Moved… By Moments that Press the Pause in Me

 

The day my grandma passed away, almost six months ago, I read a Facebook status that said something like, “My boy is gone to heaven. And I only held him for a few minutes.” 

Friends of ours gave birth to their first-born son. Who took his last breath before they ever had a chance to enjoy him. 

My grandmother was in her 80’s. This child was one day old.

Pause.