About rkpaulus

Writer. Mom. Wife. Basketball coach. Lover or all things chocolate. Winner of bubble gum jar! Grace is my oxygen.

Top Ten Best Tools I ♡ For Marriage

 

My hubby loves tools. I’m guessing most guys do. When someone says the words, “Home Depot,” it’s almost the same effect as the ways my ears perk up when someone nearby says, “Dark Chocolate!”

And so many of us *we’re guilty of this too, purchase lots and lots of tools, and then just store them up. To collect dust. And sometimes, we wait until something is beyond repair before we’re willing to spend the time and money to find a tool to fix it. 

Call it preventative medicine if you will, but I say, tool shop along the way. Build up your inventory one tool at a time. And look at it as an investment.

Marriage is the same. If you’re serious about making your marriage thrive, you have to invest in some tools. Practice using the tools too. That’s how you get good at them. And they become a more natural part of your daily communication and relationship. Most of all, walk the journey of your relationship with a heart pointed toward learning. From others who have gone before you and are living out their vows with commitment, fervor and growing love. Year after year.

When we hit our four year anniversary, more than a decade ago, we happened to be visiting one of hubby’s best friends from high school. I remember like it was yesterday how his bride of ten years said, arms clinging tightly to her hubby’s neck, “I don’t want a mediocre marriage. I want an out-of-this-world, extraordinary, phenomenal marriage!”

I thought to myself, me too! Who doesn’t?

So over the last fifteen years, we’ve invested in our marriage. And we continue to do so. Here’s a run-down of my TOP TEN TOOLS we’ve discovered along the way and want to pass on to you: Continue reading

A Chocolate-Covered Sunset

Fortunately for you, the Anniversary date day isn’t over yet. So neither is the story. [Btw, Thanks for coming back!!]

Unfortunately, walking back to Battery Park Pier after visiting the 9/11 Memorial, lingering emotions settle like seeds blown from a dandelion. Never truly finding their home. Just accept that the memories of that day will always make me sad. Sigh.

Fortunately, we hold hands and walk briskly toward the water, excited about the rest of the evening.

As we get in line for the water taxi, hubby reevaluates our schedule. Is there still time for a spin around the Hudson River before dinner and the show? There will have to be. Because we’ve only hopped on and hopped off once and that is just not acceptable for the Hop on/Hop off Dealio we signed up for. Continue reading

A Different Kind of Waterfall

I left you yesterday with a mouthful of pizza and two tix to Memphis in my purse. Sorry Spidey. Next time. Fo sho. Maybe. 

So after our luncheon at Battery Gardens Restaurant, we walk off our meal with our two block stroll to the subway to catch the red line #1 train uptown to Time Square. But when we arrive at 42nd, we begin our second brisk walk over to the west side to find Pier 84. 

Oh, almost forgot to mention the two very different solicitors on the train. One guy had a cardboard sign that read “Donate $1 for weed. Hey. Just keepin it real.” Okay.

The other guy came onto our train after the first stop, carrying a backpack and a guitar and sang that famous Spanish song. You know the one. “Aay yay yay yay” makes up most of the words. And he had a really nice voice. I looked at hubby and smiled. “Did you plan this?” Giggle giggle. Eyelashes batting. Hubby dropped some change in the performer’s bag. “Now that deserves a dollar.”
Continue reading

Operation Sabotage Spidey!…NYC Date Part 1

FTR: I actually like Spiderman…The Movie Version!

On the way to NYC to celebrate our 14th anniversary with an all day date, Hubby practices his talk to the teens that he’ll be giving on Sunday. His topic is “How to Manage Fear.” He shares a lot of words for different phobias that are a mouthful and then talks about the difference between closing your eyes when you’re afraid and facing your fears with your eyes wide open. I listen and listen and listen. Then I interrupt.

“You’re spending too much time on defining and explaining the concepts of fear. When do we get the good part? How to handle fear? What to do with fear? And what makes sense to fear?”

“You’re right. [The heavens part open and I hear a hallelujah!…Not really, but that would have been fun.] I need to work on adding more of that.” Continue reading

Fourteen Reasons I ♡ My Hubby!

Today is our 14th Wedding Anniversary! Seems like just yesterday I was looking at Sun across the walkway in front of Niagara Falls, wondering if this cute boy four years younger than me might give this crazy girl a chance. 

I really love this man…so much more than words can say. So brace yourself for a love splat of a blog all! 
You’re the reason I’m smiling Babily!! 
My Dearest Santhosh, 

I love you because…

1. You make me laugh. Still. And get me to laugh at myself. Doesn’t take much.

2. You dance with me. Even when you’re not the biggest fan of slow dancing. You also dance crazy sometimes just to entertain me and the girls.

3. You buy me chocolate and flowers. For no reason sometimes. 

4. You forgive me. Daily. Sometimes many times in one day. This should be number one. Continue reading

Top Ten Hardest Things to Share after saying “I do”

Remember in Kindergarten, when sharing did not come naturally? When two people say the words, “I do…” they don’t always know exactly what they “do” agree to in that moment of bliss and celebration. A whole lot of sharing is involved to make a marriage work. It’s fun to share laughs, adventures, meals, and your bodies… But today’s tribute to my anniversary week is not about the happy, romantic, lovey-dovey stuff in marriage.
In fact, I almost named this blog, “my love-hate relationship with marriage,” but that seemed a little extreme. I did come up with a list though, of the:

TOP TEN Hardest Things to Share in a Marriage Continue reading

In Search of Waterfalls – Years 8 to 13

 

Picking up from where we left off, Year Eight came along, and we ventured over to north Atlanta so we could leave the girls with my sister and her hubby for a few days. Then we drove north two hours till we hit the Blue Ridge Mountains to a cabin in the woods. On this trip, we decided to give white water rafting a whirl for the first time. Except that by the time we descended onto the Ocoee River in North Carolina, we were each paddling our own kayaks. Not the group ride I had anticipated but an amazing adventure I will never forget. At one point we got separated and to this day, I am so relieved I thought out loud and asked the guide if there was any way I could get lost. And he replied, “Nope. The river only goes in one direction, so even when it splits, it will reunite again.” 

In Search of Waterfalls…Years 1 to 7

Since hubby and I began our relationship at Niagara Falls and my Sunshine proposed to me at a waterfall, early on, it seemed only natural to name the journey of our romance, “In Search of Waterfalls.”

This Thursday, our marriage turns 14 years old. Like most special days in our family, this calls for celebration. But I have to be honest, my wedding anniversary is perhaps the most exciting time in my year.

I am married to a man who just loves to plan a batta-bing batta-boom date night or trip to remind me why he proposed to me over a decade ago. Why he told me, “It seems kinda obvious that I like you,” beginning our dating journey. And why he called me almost every morning to say, “Good morning,” and every night to say, “Good night,” just cuz he loved to hear the sound of my laugh. This all the summer we first met and were just enjoying the friendship.

So to get us in the mood, I thought I’d take you on tour of our past anniversaries. So get yourself some candles, a bottle of bubbly, and snuggle up to a romance in progress… Continue reading

From Sunset to Sunrise…

 I’ve come to accept that Paulus family vacations will not be chalk full of rest, but I must say we’ve come a long way from our days when three of them were in diapers and I had to pack for everyone. Back then, I felt exhausted before we even left by the time I had collected, organized, rolled and fit in all the clothes, toys, shoes, meds, and other into each of the girls’ bags. Now my girls are old enough to pack for themselves. Hallelujah!! I can honestly say that I had no idea if my four year old packed enough underwear before we left for Hilton Head Island, South Carolina. But she loves clothes, so I just counted on her having plenty of everything. That’s my diva-girl! I was bound to get at least one with four daughters!I think the age old pursuit of R&R is rarely captured once you have little ones. And sometimes even when you don’t have kids. Because Americans in general don’t vacation enough, so when we do, we try to pack in a lot of seeing, doing, and living into one or two weeks. Some of us even carry a check list of MUST Do and MUST Sees to ensure we don’t miss anything. 

Ever Suffered from Cooking Amnesia?

So there are many things I love about Hilton Head Island, South Carolina. This was the fourth visit for us *Thanks to hubby taking a class, and I never tire of the beachy ocean shorelines, sunny blue skies weather, and tasty good eats. And I’m not a very picky eater, so if you’re looking for an expert food critic’s evaluation of the most famous restaurants on the island, you’ve come to the… wrong place. But stick around anyway, just for the yum of it! 

There are a lot of yummy options in HHI, and we tried quite a few this past week. *Disclaimer #1 here…especially for the trainers at my gym… Yes, I did partake in samples of all that you see below, but I rarely ordered my own, and I biked three times during the week. And did push-ups twice. Soooo, don’t be too mad! Puleeeeaze! 🙂

Back to matters of eating… Continue reading